I'm not counting down really, but I have about 10 days before everything changes. It's that time again; moving away, starting a new job, making new friends, picking up new life habits. And one always has to ask oneself the question - Am I who I want to be? It's a difficult question to answer. Sometimes we are the person that the situation has dictated. If we move to cold Alaska, maybe we will start doing the things that Alaskans do. But are we doing it because we like doing it or just because we are there? The same is true if we are moving from Pune City. All those nights of going out: Was that because we were in Pune and we had to make the most out of the experience or was it truly something that we enjoyed and will want to do no matter where we go? The same is true of the people we meet. Do we enjoy hanging out with our coworkers or do we prefer meeting people outside work? Those friends we have with whom we only watch movies or only go bowling - Are they any better friends than the ones we go to dinner with, or have been to our house? Do we wish we got to know them in a deeper sense?
So, not to get too philosophical, but it’s these questions which are popping in my head as of now. I will be a new fish in the big pond. I can choose everything about who I hang out with, what I do with my free time, how much I exercise, the healthy foods I eat, all that jazz. So now it's really the time to decide - Who is it that I want to be? And is that me? Fresh slate!
And in the meantime there's the daunting task of tying up loose ends. Saying goodbye to old friends, and finding closure with the ones that I probably won't keep in touch with. The ones who forgot about us when we were so close, that we don't need to worry about as we move further away. The ones who won't call us on our birthday or Christmas or New Year's. The ones who have always been too busy to write or call back. The ones we just don't have the energy, nor desire, to fight with. The ones who probably don't even know we are moving. Those are the ones we let go!
I'll always be reminded of what my professor once said - Not everyone can sit in your front row (In comparing you and your close relationships to stadium seating). And it's true, as new people come in, there are only selected seats for the front row people. And as hard as it might be to believe, that someone who once held the top spot must now just be another audience member in the aisle. Facts are facts!
So tying up loose ends means moving on from things that aren't positively impacting my life, saying goodbye to bad habits and getting ready to cook more, to eat healthier, to exercise more, read more, write more, do all the things that I've put off because I was so busy(doing nothing). It means meeting people and forming relationships with people that are on same page, heading towards similar goals. Tying up loose ends means getting rid of all of the baggage and throwing away the junk that we don't want to move with, both literally and figuratively speaking.
Like a seed grows to be a plant
We most sow our seeds and wait
For nature to take its time
And allow us to share in its beauty.
So, let's wait to see what happens. And be excited about the future, but first take care of the present and tie up the loose ends!!!!
